DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter’s mother-in-law graciously extends invitations to me to family celebrations. When I ask, ever so gently, if I might help in any aspect of preparation or cleanup, I am thanked, but my offer is usually declined. I feel a distinct boundary that suggests family may enjoy working together, but guests are outsiders. Please help me to see this rationally.

GENTLE READER: You may be surprised to hear that yours is not a usual complaint. Miss Manners will venture to state that most people do not consider cleaning up in other people’s homes to be a privilege.

Please accept this as a courtesy, not a form of exclusion.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.